Rock Band Unplugged and Unplayable

It has recently been announced that a handful of major console titles are being ported to the PSP, namely Assassins Creed (Seriously, what took them so long?), Motor Storm (Ah, yes. Makes sense.) Little Big Planet (Hmm, alright. I think that’s doable.) and Rock Band (FREAKIN’ SWEE….wait, wuh?).

While I’m pretty excited about the first three games, let’s focus on the last game mentioned shall we? I, for one, am a serious Rock Band fanatic. While not a very practical game, considering that I got mine for roughly $300, I consider it one of my smartest and most worthwhile purchases in my long history of gaming. Anybody with an appreciation for music – rock in particular I should add – and video games must have this game. It’s not the most innovative of games for sure – instrument games have long been let loose in arcades – however it’s simply just so much fun to play. It’s difficult to explain why it’s so fun when all you do is really press buttons when a few lights blink (Seriously, the skills involved are nothing more complex than what a lab rat can do.) however maybe it is this simplicity combined with the familiarity and natural emotional-evocativeness of song (Is evocativeness even a word?) that makes the game so great. Let’s not forget to mention the instruments. Coming from somebody who cannot play a note on a guitar, there is huge satisfaction to be gained from fooling yourself into thinking that you can play an instrument. That said, I wonder what they’re planning to do with Rock Band Unplugged (RBU) for the PSP. Is Harmonix going to pull a Guitar Hero On Tour and slap something on the PSP to make it resemble a guitar? Or perhaps you can simply connect your existing Rock Band set wirelessly to your PSP? Well gee, so much for portable gaming right?

A little research has revealed that Harmonix isn’t planning to do any of the crazy ideas mentioned above. Instead they have decided to go the conservative route and simple require players to press directional and face buttons in time with the song track. Cool. Ok, I’m lying. NOT COOL! As much as I love Harmonix and how it’s game has improved my way of gaming life, I seriously do not understand this move. Guitar Hero On Tour make a lot of sense. Though the button-strap-thing wasn’t the most ergonomic of peripherals, it really helped bring the novelty of having a “real instrument” to the portable gaming devices. Rock Band Unplugged brings nothing of the sort. Have you ever seen anybody play Rock Band with a controller and enjoy it? Why would you right? It doesn’t make any sense when the guitar, mic and drums already exist.

Rock Band Unplugged strikes me as an effort to milk the market. It makes a lot of sense from a business standpoint, when you consider how popular Rock Band is, but none at all from a game design perspective. I don’t see me buying a nerfed version of a game I already have. But then again, that’s just me.